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Dear Bowl Fresh

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


September 4, 2009


Willert Home Products
4044 Park
St. Louis, MO 63110


Dear Bowl Fresh,

On the back of your packaging you state, “Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.”

Then later it says, “CAUTION: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED. EYE IRRITANT.”

Which is it? Is your product safe to use around children or not?

Also, I’ve seen some pretty horrible parenting in my lifetime, like parents that let their kids hang over the back of the booth at Perkins annoying me, but I can’t imagine even the crappiest (ha ha!) of parents allowing their children to drink out of a toilet bowl, especially if it contained Bowl Fresh (whether it’s safe to drink or not).

Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

Sponsor:

Reply:

Willert Home Products


14 September 2009


Christopher L. Jorgensen

P. O.  Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


Christopher L. Jorgensen
[handwritten address redacted]

Dear Christopher,

Thank you for taking the time to write to us concerning Bowl Fresh Toilet Bowl Cleaner.

This product contains mild detergents, borax, fragrance and blue dye. The blue tablet may be toxic to children and pets if swallowed. Once the tablet is placed into the tank and released into the toilet bowl water is considered non toxic. We must link the statement to the toilet bowl water. Believe it or not, we have had situations where children and pets have taken a drink of toilet bowl water. Fortunately neither became ill or displayed any unusual behavior.

In appreciation of your business we are enclosing complimentary samples of our products.

Sincerely,


Shelley Cade

Willert Home Products
4044 Park Avenue
St. Louis, MO 63110
[email and direct phone lines redacted]

 

 

 

4044 PARK AVENUE, ST LOUIS, MO 63110 314-772-2822 FAX: 314-772-1409 WWW.WILLERT.COM

Bowl Fresh website: www.willert.com

Scan of the letter from Bowl Fresh

Commentary:

Picture of the swag from Bowl Fresh

I’m often asked, by my legion of adoring fans and creepy stalkers, if I just send out the same letter over and over again until someone responds. The answer is no. I almost always write a unique letter for each place, since I figure a failed joke will continue to fail.

This letter is not a failure. Not only did I get a response, but also got some of the coolest customer service ever! I’m going to forgo the easy jokes because of this. It seems Willert Home Products doesn’t use the US Postal Service (and why should they? talk about crappy customer service), so Shelley tracked me down using that popular goggle search engine I keep hearing things about. She found my

seldom

never updated personal blog and used the contact form there to find me.

I won’t repost her email, since doing something like that would be be rude, obnoxious, and bad form. I know, seems weird, but I have rules about these things. It’s a matter of ethics!

Anyway, what really surprises me is that Shelley found me, but didn’t manage to find this site. I want to believe she did and decided to be in on the joke, but I have no way of knowing.

In full disclosure, I do use the Bowl Fresh line of products, but I also had no brand loyalty. I’d pretty much buy the cheapest product that would turn my bowl blue. I will never buy 2000 Flushes or Ty-D-Bol again. They had their chance, but never wrote back!

Well, I guess we’ll get to see how savvy Shelley really is, see how long it takes before she finds this posts and sends me a Cease & Desist letter. Ha!

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

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Ames, IA 50010

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