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Dear Firestone

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010


January 11, 2009


Firestone
Bridgestone Americas, Inc.
535 Marriot Drive
PO Box 140990
Mashville, TN 37214-0990


Dear Firestone,

What’s a guy got to do to get some stickers or something else that’s cool? I’m asking for a friend. I know, I bet you hear that a lot, but in this case it’s true! My friend, Joel Postman, would like to know what it would take to get some stickers or something cool, so I said I’d ask, so I am asking. I promise to pass the information onto him.

Don’t be surprised if you get a request for something cool from Joel Postman. Well, unless you don’t answer this letter. Then I won’t know what to tell him, and he won’t know who to ask, and you’ll hear nothing. So if you don’t write back I’ll just assume you didn’t want Joel Postman writing you!

You do know who Joel Postman is, right?

Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

This site in book form. Buy it now!

Reply:

[Editor’s Note: Firestone did not send a reply. Just a lot of stuff: Stickers, two hats, and some free tires! Well, ok, so they didn’t send tires, but they did send the rest of the stuff pictured!]

Picture of the swag Firestone sent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Commentary:

Note: Address has been updated to reflect my current P.O. Box.

First off, let’s get the gratuitous product pimping out of the way. Here’s Joel’s book:

You should buy it if you use social media in your organization. If 100,000 of you bought his book using the above link I could probably run this site for another two or three years! Now we have that out of the way, I promise any further promotional linking will be subtle and underhanded (and like product placement in a movie you won’t even know it’s happening!).

You can’t blame Joel Postman for this site, but you can, more or less, blame him for my presence on twitter. I’m not sure if this is 100% accurate, but it’s how I remember it, and I am not above a little revisionist history, so regardless of how it happened, this is the story I tell when people ask, “How did you get to know Joel Postman so well?” Well, the internet alerts I have set up on goggle let me know of a tweet by @jpostman that said, “Dude sends letters to companies and posts their responses: http://www.jackassletters.com love this guy,” so I wrote him a letter telling him that he should know better than to profess his love for me on the internet. Things on the internet never die. Once on the internet it’s on the internet forever. So you could say that’s how our undying love began. So I joined up and started following him.

If that version isn’t entirely true it’s the story historians will be telling, so you might as well have your kids memorizing it this way.

At some point Joel mentioned that when he was a kid he’d write aftermarket car companies and ask for stickers and stuff. This sounded like a great idea, so once I looked up what “aftermarket” meant I decided there was no reason I couldn’t do this on his behalf. (I did not ask permission or make him aware that I was doing this.)

Only Firestone replied:

/images/letters/misc/JandCbfflabel.jpg

Since his name was on the box, and I asked for the swag using his name, I sent him the majority of the stuff. I kept a hat and some stickers!

Here’s what Joel looks like in that great Firestone hat:

/images/letters/misc/jpostman.jpg

Here’s me rocking this same hat:

/images/letters/misc/mefirestone.jpg

I stood in front of some Firestone tires at a Wal-Mart.


Unanswered Letter #1:


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


January 10, 2009


Cragar Industries, Inc.
P.O. Box 558
Milford, IA 51351


Dear Cragar,

I need some stickers or pens or a shirt or something. This is nearly an emergency!

I know this guy who loves your products. He’s all the time talking about Cragar this and Cragar that. In fact, sometimes it’s hard to get the guy to shut up or talk about anything else. Maybe you’ve heard of him? His name is Joel Postman. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would write companies asking for free stuff, so if he has, feel free to ignore my request, but in the off chance you’ve never heard of Joel Postman I thought maybe you could send me something to give to him.

Seriously, I figure next time he starts in about how cool he thinks Cragar is I can just hand him the stickers or pens or shirt and he’ll be so overcome with emotion and gratitude that he’ll be at a loss for words, and we could finally have a discussion about something else like girls.


Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen


Unanswered Letter #2:


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


January 11, 2009


Dynomax Performance Exhaust
1 International Drive
Monroe, MI 48161


Dear Dynomax,

I’d love some Dynomax branded book covers, pens, or notebooks, but I am guessing you only give away marketing materials to car writers, famous people, and people who buy your products, so I am probably out of luck. It might be my fault that I made the wrong choices in life and didn’t end up famous or a car writer, but I doubt you can hold the fact that I don’t have a Thrush muffler against me. After all, I drive a 2000 Plymouth Neon. It would be pretty silly to put a Thrush muffler on one of these!

I’m not asking for myself though. I’m asking for Joel Postman. He loves your stuff, and I am presuming he actually uses Thrush exhaust systems, but what do I know? To me a muffler is a muffler, but to this guy, well, to get something with the Thrush logo on it would make 2011 the best year ever!


Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen


I’m sure Joel remembers it differently, but you just have to trust me that he’s wrong. And, Joel, thanks for the book: SocialCorp: Social Media Goes Corporate. (See, told you I’d be subtle!)

I’ll be sure to let you all know what Visa, Mastercard, and American Express have to say about our joint applications! I haven’t told Joel about these yet.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Be sure to mention what letter your comment applies to. Adding some cash with your correspondence is a good thing. You can email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) if you must.

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