Click to subscribe to the jackassletters.com RSS feed Click to be taken to the jackassletters.com twitter page. Click to be taken to the jackassletters.com Facebook page Click to subscribe to the jackassletters.com podcast Click to be taken to the jackassletters.com YouTube channel

Dear Georgia-Pacific

Christopher L. Jorgensen1
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


February 11, 2011


Georgia-Pacific Consumer Products
133 Peachtree St., N.E.
Atlanta, GA 30303


Dear Georgia-Pacific,

The other day I was getting out a fresh roll of toilet paper and I noticed on the side of the box it says, “Now EPA Complaint.” I’m a huge fan of buying bulk (mostly because I am cheap!), but I’m a bit concerned. If this said “EPA Compliant” I wouldn’t be worried, but the addition of that “Now” makes it seem as though previously my bathroom tissue was not compliant with the Environmental Protection Agency. What was wrong with it before?

Obviously my primary concern is where I’ve been putting this product. Wiping various areas with tissue that is environmentally unfriendly is troublesome at best. I only want the highest quality anywhere near there! Part of me wants to say that the EPA should have nothing to do with what I choose to use to wipe with, but another part of me thinks we need an agency to govern just such a thing!

Well, congratulations on your recent EPA compliance. I still want to know what was wrong with your toilet paper before.


Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

Sponsor:

Reply:

GP Georgia-Pacific

Georgia-Pacific Consumer Products LP
Consumer Response Department

P.O. Box 105141
Atlanta, GA 30348-5141
(800) 283-5547
gpcrc@gapac.com


March 31, 2011


Mr. Christopher L. Jorgensen1
PO Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393-3042

 

Dear Mr. Jorgensen:


Thank you for contacting the Georgia-Pacific Consumer Response Center.  Georgia-Pacific places tremendous importance on the feedback we receive from our consumers.

We require additional information in order to assist you.  Please contact us at 1-800-2TellGP, Monday through Friday, 9am to 5pm est. or respond to this email with the following:

Your Case #743097
Full Name of Product and Size of Package
Proof of Purchase Code (located above and/or below the bar code)
Core Code (letters and numbers printed inside of cardboard roll)
Store in which you purchased the product


We will be happy to take care of this and appreciate you bringing it to our attention.

 

Sincerely,

Andrea

 

Georgia-Pacific Consumer Response Center
Reference #743097 | Consumer Affairs Specialist


cc: Manager, Consumer Response

 


1[Editor’s Note: due to the impending collapse of the US government this PO Box is no longer valid. Check the FUQ for updated information.]

 

Georgia-Pacific website: www.gp.com

Scan of the letter from Georgia-Pacific

Commentary:

This letter is what you call an ass covering exercise. Seriously, don’t make me do homework to get an answer. Just get up out of your chair and walk down to the warehouse and take a look around until you see this:

Picture of a Georgia-Pacific box of toilet paper

See, says, “Now EPA Compliant” right on the box.

I go through a lot of shit paper.

The editor/girlfriend/typist wants me to point out that I write real letters on real paper and send them through the mail using a real stamp. That makes it a bit hard to reply to their “email.”

I am so glad I now have a case number!

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Be sure to mention what letter your comment applies to. Adding some cash with your correspondence is a good thing. You can email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) if you must.

Latest Replies:

Other points of interest:

Legal:


The logo of the Randazza Legal Group. Click to visit their site.