Dear Marshmallow Fluff
Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393
April 27, 2011
Durkee Mower Inc.
P.O. Box 470
Lynn, MA 01903
Dear Fluff,
First off I must admit that I believe my leg has been pulled. I am assured you sell Fluff in five-gallon buckets. This both entices and mortifies me. Who has a need for that much Fluff? When I checked your website though I see no such thing! Like I said, my leg’s been pulled, right?
If you do sell it in five-gallon buckets can you tell me how much it would cost to send two buckets of fluff to my Canadian friend? Anthony Imperioli’s a huge Nutella fan and about the only thing I can imagine would make that stuff better is to add Fluff! I figure if it works for peanut butter it has to work for Nutella, right?
Ten gallons and Anthony could practically take a bath in the stuff!
Vive La Fluffernutter!
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Sponsor:
Reply:
Marshmallow
fluff®
DURKEE-MOWER INC. 2 EMPIRE STREET P.O. BOX 470 LYNN, MASSACHUSETTS 01903-0570 781/593-6007 FAX: 781/593-6410
WEBSITE: HTTP://WWW.MARSHMALLOWFLUFF.COM
Christopher Jorgensen
P. O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393
Dear Christopher,
We are very sorry but our 5 lb. containers of Fluff are only distributed to service industries. Also, our carrier, UPS, will not deliver to Canada, only the 48 contiguous States.
Thank you for your interest in our product and we are sorry we cannot accommodate your request.
Durkee-Mower, Inc.
Marshmallow Fluff website: www.marshmallowfluff.com
Commentary:
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Christopher L. JorgensenPO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
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I bought a jar of Nutella and as soon as I find some Fluff I am totally making a sandwich with them. It may very well be the last thing I eat.
This letter was suggested by @bglewandowski. You could check out his website: bglewandowski.com
This letter is part of a series of letters called “Jackass Letters: The Anthony Imperioli Letters.” I think I am up to 20 letters written with 10 replies, which is an amazing response rate. I plan to include all these into a collection that I will make available on the iTunes store (if my plan comes to fruition!), but I have to be accepted as an Apple Content Provider first (cross the fingers; my app is in). If you are on the mailing list chances are you’ve read most of the replies.
Anthony can be found on the web here, here, here, and here.
By Christopher L. Jorgensen
Website: http://jackassletters.com