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Dear Ocean Spray

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


September 20, 2010


Ocean Spray Cranberries, Inc.
A Grower Cooperative
Lakeville-Middleboro
MA, 02349


Dear Ocean Spray Cranberries,

I’m writing about two of your products:

Cranberry Sauce: I really love your gelled cranberry sauce a bit more than I should. It’s probably that sucking sound it makes as it plops from the can in one slippery sloppy chunk, or the way it slices into tasty little pucks. I’m already looking forward to Thanksgiving being over so I can buy a crate of the stuff at closeout prices!

Sugar-free Cranberry Mix: I have to say I’ve been unable to find your cranberry powder mix anywhere. This has become distressing. Just when I find something I like it seems to have disappeared. Do you still make this? If you don’t, and you have a bunch sitting around, I’ll take it off your hands! Just ship it to the above address. This beats leaving it in some abandoned warehouse. I’ll drink it all!

Keep up the good work.


Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

 

 

Sponsor:

Reply:

Ocean Spray
Ocean Spray Consumer Affairs
One Ocean Spray Drive • Lakeville-Middleboro, MA 02349
p (508) 946.1000 • f (508) 946.7704
toll free (800) 662.3263

 


September 29, 2010

Hello Christopher,

Thanks for contacting us over here at Ocean Spray, where we pride ourselves on 80 years of taking great care in harvesting and manufacturing our products.  It’s nice to hear from people who are as into cranberries as much as we are.

Well, you’ve certainly made us blush.  It still tickles us pink to know that people love our products as much as we do!

We’re glad to hear you chose us, but we’re very sorry that you were disappointed you couldn’t find us at your local store.  We immediately shared your feedback with our marketing department.

Unfortunately we are no longer producing Ocean Spray® Sugar Free Cranberry Drink Mix.  Although we considered it to be a very fine product, consumer demand was not what we had anticipated.  Consequently, a marking decision was made to stop production. We are sorry that our answer could not be more favorable.

Thanks again for choosing Ocean Spray.  Be sure to visit us sometime at OceanSpray.com, where you can get all the latest information on our products, find delicious recipes, and join the Cranberry Club for special news and offers.  And don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any more questions or comments.  Or if you just want to say hello, we’d like that too.

Tastes Good.  Good For You.

[lame pixelated signature]

And Your Friends at Ocean Spray

Enclosure: FREE 16oz. or 14 oz can of any Ocean Spray® Cranberry Sauce coupon

# 7,458,219

 

 

 

Ocean Spray website: www.oceanspray.com

Scan of the letter from Ocean Spray

Commentary:

This is one of those letter that is 100% true, and the writing saved me some time. I couldn’t remember where I’d purchased the Sugar-free Cranberry Mix. I liked it enough to look three places, and was keeping an eye out for it at pretty much any store I went to. Knowing it’s been canceled is helpful and sad. I give Ocean Spray major kudos for actually answering my questions. Too often I get a standard reply and am left with whatever question I’d written about.

This still reads like a boilerplate letter, but somehow I don’t mind. (If only it had been signed with a real pen!)

It would have kicked ass if they’d sent me a case of the drink mix. I do have a strange cranberry desire bordering on a fetish. I drink the juice and love to eat the jelled stuff.

They did send some coupons. Yum!

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

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