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Dear Snickers

Christopher L. Jorgensen1
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


April 15, 2008


Masterfoods USA
800 High Street
Hackettstown, NJ 07840-1503


Dear Snickers,

I recently ate one of your Snickers Limited Edition Charged Bars. It was quite good, but unfortunately I couldn’t tell the difference from a regular Snickers, other than the wrapper appearance and the peanuts may have been a bit smaller.

Do you think this candy bar is more healthy for me than a regular Snickers since it contains B-vitamins and taurine (whatever that is)?

It didn’t really give me the kick I was expecting. Maybe you could add ephedra?

Your website says the candy bar should retail for $.65. I paid $.89. I think someone owes me $.24. I bought it at the Casey’s in Slater, IA. You should let them know they are overcharging! Since I am obviously due a refund, I’ve included a penny to make things easier. Just send the quarter to the above address.

Also, don’t you think it might be a little irresponsible to make a candy bar that is not recommended for children? This somehow seems wrong to me.

Thanks,


Christopher L. Jorgensen


enc: $.01


1[Author’s note: Originally this letter used my home address. I stopped giving this out when Michael Bublé kept wanting to fight me “for his honor.”]

Sponsor:

Reply:

MARS Snackfood
us
800 HIGH STREET
HACKETTSTOWN, NJ 07840
T+1 908 852 1000

May 6, 3008


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


Dear Mr. Jorgensen:

Thank you for letting us know you were disappointed with your recent purchase of SNICKERS® CHARGED™ Bar.

We value your opinion and are referring your comments to our Marketing Department.

Please accept the enclosed and try our products again. We would appreciate another chance.

Sincerely,

[signed]

Sandra Simon
Consumer Care Representative


SIMOSAND/OPS010606594A
Enclosures

 

 

 

Snickers website: www.snickers.com

Scan of the letter from Snickers

Commentary:

I find great humor in the fact my penny was documented and returned to me like some prisoner on probation. “Turn to the left, Prisoner 010606594A!” I now carry it, on that card, in my wallet, like a luck charm.

Scan of the penny sent to Snickers

[Update: the penny was given to @fixgear who presumably now carries it like a luck charm (or more likely spent it).]


Here’s what comes of not reading the letters sent to you, I guess when I wrote, “It was quite good,” they took this as a bad thing, and felt a need to thank me for letting them know I was “disappointed.” I had to reread my letter a few times to see if I was disappointed. Maybe in the price, maybe in the fact it didn’t give me any kind of jolt, but the candy bar was indeed good. It tasted a lot like a Snickers.

So is it more healthy? I’m guessing not. Probably not any less healthy either. I still think this movement to put wake-me-up chemicals in everything is silly. Leave that to my dealer and just put things that taste good in my candy bars, like sugar, caramel, yummy nougat (what the hell is nougat?) chocolate, and peanuts. Or just skip everything but the chocolate.

I do still wonder about the price thing. I’m all for charging what the market can bear and all, but if you say on your website it should retail for $0.65, and places are charging $0.89, well then, I smell the yummy scent of a class action lawsuit. Where are the lawyers I ask! Where are the lawyers? How can we allow this confectionary injustice to continue?

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Be sure to mention what letter your comment applies to. Adding some cash with your correspondence is a good thing. You can email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) if you must.

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