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Dear Vagisil

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

January 17, 2012

Combe Incorporated
1101 Westchester Avenue
White Plains, New York 10604

Dear Vagisil,

My friend Anthony Imperioli suffers from chaffing and a rash in his groin area (or so he says, he won’t show me). He also says the only product that is helpful is your Vagisil Satin Anti-itch Cream. I tried telling him that any itch cream with active ingredient 1% hydrocortisone acetate will work just as well, but he insists Vagisil Satin Anti-itch Cream is the best, so I decided to write and suggest you come out with a cream for men so Anthony can finally stop being laughed at in the locker room.

You wouldn’t have to change the formula at all. Just some rebranding and a bit of clever marketing and you’d have a hit on your hands! Anthony can’t be the only man suffering from this problem (though I imagine he’s one of the few that gets that area waxed). I understand if you take the position that this is a problem Anthony brings on himself, but if you could help the man out I am sure he’d appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

Sponsor:

Reply:

February 6, 2012

Mr. Christopher Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010-0546

Dear Mr. Jorgensen:

Combe Incorporated has developed, and continues to develop, a wide range of ideas to increase distribution of our products. Combe’s management, upon advice from its Legal Department, determined years ago that ideas regarding distribution, new product development, advertising, marketing, promotion strategies and so forth would be developed internally because of the legal complications that can occur when ideas are generated both internally and externally. While we value the support of our many faithful consumers, we must, as a matter of sound business practice, avoid the influx of ideas developed externally. This is for the protection of our company as well as those third parties who have ideas. Regrettably, the legal climate in our society makes it difficult to make exceptions to this rule except in those instances where a consumer has received a patent on the idea or where an idea has been successfully put into practice either regionally or nationally.

We wish you success in finding another company to work with your idea.

Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention.

Sincerely,

[unconvincing font signature]

Alexandria Tollinchi
Consumer Resources Consultant

Case #447503

Combe Inc • 1101 Westchester Avenue • White Plains, NY 10604 • (800) 431-2610 • www.combe.com

Scan of the letter from Vagisil

Commentary:

This letter will eventually appear in the collection “Jackass Letters: The Anthony Imperioli Letters.” Preorders for this book will be accepted once Anthony has completed a cover and I’ve written another 20 “Anthony” letters.

If you have no idea who Anthony is you should follow him on twitter and check out his website and puppetry. (Mostly so you can stalk him as well.)

Anthony says, “My pre-op world still haunts me.”

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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