An Unanswered Letter to Fleet Enema

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 26, 2011

Fleet Enema
c/o Fleet Laboratories
4615 Murray Place
Lynchburg, VA 24502

Dear Fleet Enema,

I just watched the commercials with drag star Varla Jean Merman and found them to be funny, but lacking in sex appeal. Now, I don’t want to go about telling you your business, but I think if you get someone with obvious good looks in there, someone with a sense of style and panache, a real hard-boiled, hard-bodied man’s man, a handsome young thing, someone like my friend Anthony Imperioli, then the enemas will be flying off the shelf!

I can put you in touch with him if you like, but have to let you know he’s Canadian, so you’ve probably have to do your shooting somewhere near Montreal, since I can’t see him commuting to the US just to do a few commercials. This isn’t a sure fired thing, but I bet Anthony could sell twice as many enemas as Varla Jean!

Just agree to think about it, ok? And whatever you do don’t tell Varla Jean I said she lacked sex appeal. She could totally kick my ass!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen