Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

May 5, 2008

Mr. Lazlo Toth
PO Box 245
Fairfax, Ca 94978

Dear Lazlo Toth,

I was wondering if you were dropped on your head as a baby. I am told this is a common infantile accident/injury, but I am having difficulty finding a documented case of anyone this has actually happened to.

After reading some small amount about you though, I have become convinced you exhibit all the symptoms these children carry into adulthood:

• A nasally voice
  
• A certain moral ambiguity
  
• Excessive hair
  
• Nearsightedness
  
• Excessive masturbation
  
• Large ego
  
• Small stature
  

If possible, could you let me know if you do engage in excessive masturbation (like more than 6 times a day), thus confirming my diagnosis? For some time now I worried I had been dropped on my head as an infant, since I too met most of these symptoms, but after an unexpected growth spurt in my early 30s I am no longer of small stature.

Thanks!

Love and pogo-sticks,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. any way I can get an autographed photo?