Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something?

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Toys"R"Us

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

May 6, 2008

Attn: Guest Relations
1 Geoffrey Way
Wayne, New Jersey 07470

Dear Toys"R"Us,

Sadly, I look a little like Ted Kaczynski, but I like toys! As a man in my late 30s I feel pretty uncomfortable walking around your store. I can feel the stares of parents wondering if I am there to snatch away one of their precious little snowflakes!

Sometimes I feel like this when I go to the kids' section of a bookshop as well, but I know there's nothing you can do about that.

Anyway, I was hoping you could have like one day a month where it's "Adults Only" night at Toys"R"Us. This could be a great social event as well. And best of all, no kids would mean no crying babies, no one making a mess of the store, less screaming and running around, and no need for me to feel like I am being viewed as a potential kidnapper (I won't even mention the other thing these parents probably think I am!).

Sure, I could shave, but I don't see why I should have to just to get a toy. An "Adults Only" night seems like a great idea to me, but I am curious what you think.


Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. any way I could get an autographed photo of Geoffrey the giraffe? 

Points of Interest