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Dear Enzyte

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


September 29, 2010


Enzyte
c/o Vianda
7165 East Kemper Road
Cincinnati, Ohio 45249

Dear Enzyte,

my girlfriend is not a very large woman, in fact she’s quite tiny, so you can see why your product may alarm her. I don’t want to brag or anything, but, on the other hand, there’s nothing small about me! My head is big, my hands are big, my feet are big…. Can you see where I am going with this? I’d include an accurate assessment of my assets (if you get my drift), but I don’t know how guys do this? I suppose some guys are turned on by measuring sticks.

The reason I am writing is I would like to take your supplement, but I have no idea of the results I can expect. Exactly how much will my “endowment” increase? Should someone like me take half a pill?

Also, do you ship in a plain brown wrapper? I don’t want anyone to think I need additional help with my equipment.


Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

Sponsor:

Reply:

Vianda
Advancing Wellness For Life

1661 Waycross Road
Cincinnati, Ohio 45240
telephone 513.674.4810

Christopher L Jorgensen
PO Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393

October 01, 2010

Dear Mr. Jorgensen,

Enzyte has been selling since 2001 and is now THE #1 supplement for natural male enhancement.  There are men of all ages worldwide who trust Enzyte.  Enzyte, taken once daily, is a gentle natural supplement that gradually works its way into your system.  We do recommend you take it for up to three months to achieve your maximum erection enhancement.

Enzyte has been trusted by OVER 5 million men and is the #1 selling supplement in the world for natural male enhancement!

Thank you for your interest in our products and we look forward to hearing from you.  Also included with this letter, is our product catalog and inserts regarding current promotions.  To learn more about Enzyte and other Vianda products, you can contact our Sales Department toll free at 877-436-9983 Mon through Fri 8:30am to midnight EST, Saturday 9am - 6pm EST, & Sunday 12:30pm - 4pm EST, or visit our website at www.viandalife.com.


Sincerely,
Pristine Bay LLC,
dba Vianda

 

 

 

 

 

Enzyte website: www.enzyte.com

Scan of the letter from Enzyte

Commentary:

First, go read @tweet_fail’s post on Old Smiling Bob on twitterfail.com: Bob just isn’t the man he used to be.

The Fail Bird eschewed the obvious jokes about what if you passionately embraced social media and no one came because we don’t make fun of follower counts around these parts (we’re not dicks).

The saddest part about Smiling Bob is the wasted opportunity! They are sitting on comedy gold. They could create so much buzz with this account if they only tried.

So here’s my offer Enzyte people: Sign over control of the Smiling Bob twitter account to me and I will have people on twitter talking about Enzyte like you wouldn’t believe! I’ll class up your jokes and make Smiling Bob much less creepy. I’m thinking an annual salary of approximately $60,000 and I get to work from home. I’ll even try to get you back on facebook as well (no promises). What do you say? Have your people get it touch with my people and let’s get this deal done!

Also, I have to let people know I really do have big hands! I just wanted to make sure that was clear.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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