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Dear Nissan

Christopher L. Jorgensen1
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010


March 28, 2011


Nissan Marketing
Mail Stop P3C
P.O. Box 685003
Franklin, TN 37068-5003


Dear Nissan,

You guys gave my Canadian friend Anthony Imperioli a Nissan Cube and I think that’s pretty cool. I was wondering what I would have to do to get one? Sure, I know I could buy or lease a Cube, but that wouldn’t be as cool as winning one. So I am hoping you’ll come out with some kind of contest I could enter (or are these kinds of contests only for Canadians?).

I voted for Anthony a lot online, which kinda felt like stuffing the ballot box, but the rules allowed for this so I wasn’t engaging in any kind of voter fraud or anything! Anthony promised me a ride in his Cube if he got one, and he got one, but I still haven’t seen that ride! Like I said, I voted for him a lot, so I’m guessing eventually he’ll come through on that promise, but I live a long ways away from him, so I’m not expecting he’ll get it done any time soon (besides, who knows if he’s even allowed in the US!).

If you did give me a Cube I’d let him off the hook for that promise. I figure if I had a free Cube I’d be willing to put some advertising on it in exchange for the free car (it only seems fair). I figure you could put some Nissan stickers on it or something. I’d drive it around a lot and I’m at least as popular as Anthony is so a lot of people would be envious!

If I can’t get a free car can I at least get some free stickers for my 2000 Neon?

Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

 

 

 

[Editor’s note: The return address was originally to a PO Box Christopher no longer has access to. This PO has been updated to his current box.]

Sponsor:

Reply:

NISSAN

NISSAN NORTH AMERICA, INC.
One Nissan Way
Franklin, TN 37067

 


April 27, 2011

 

Mr. Christopher Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


Dear Mr. Jorgensen:

Thank you for your recent letter requesting a vehicle donation.

Nissan’s charitable giving efforts have three main areas of focus:  Education, the Environment and Humanitarian Aid.  Per our corporate policy, all donations must be given to organizations that have 501c3 non-profit status.  It is with regret that we will not be able to support your vehicle donation request.

We wish the best of luck in the future.


Sincerely,

[signed]

Stephanie Valdez Streaty
Sr. Manager Philanthropy and Diversity

Nissan website: www.nissanusa.com

Scan of the letter from Nissan

Commentary:

This is yet another letter in the super secret project I am calling “Jackass Letters: The Anthony Imperioli Letters.” If you are getting tired of these letters it is because you have lost all zest for life. I suggest you counteract this by following Anthony on twitter or check out his website or Nonna Maria. If after checking out his sites, you still haven’t found a reason to live, then you are hereby dismissed from this mortal coil.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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