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Dear Rapala

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

July 29, 2011

10395 Yellow Circle Drive
Minnetonka, MN 55343

Dear Rapala,

Every time I go fishing with my friend Anthony Imperioli he always makes me bait his hook. I don’t care if it’s a worm or a grub or a minnow he won’t put it on the damn hook! I don’t know if this is because he’s Canadian or if it’s because of his prosthetic hand, but when it comes to bait he gets a bit girly. So I figure the obvious thing to do would be to get him a lure! (Then I’d never have to watch him run away at the sight of a wiggling worm. Again!)

I was wondering if you had a suggestion for what lure I should get him. He’s pretty much a beginner, so I don’t think he’d do well with anything too complex. He mostly catches small fish that should really be thrown back, but I never have the heart to tell him. One of these days we’ll probably get in trouble.


Christopher L. Jorgensen

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Normark Corporation
10395 Yellow Circle Drive
Minnetonka, MN 55343


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010





Dear Christopher,
Thank you for your letter and taking the time to bring a fellow fisherman out on the water. I would suggest our Rapala Shad Rap in a wide spread application.
As you know being a fisherman yourself many different things can affect the way you fish and what baits you choose. Again thank you for taking the time to write to us.

Happy fishing!

You’re friends at Rapala USA

Rapala website:

Scan of the letter from Rapala


Note: Address has been updated to reflect my current P.O. Box.

This letter is destined for an eventual appearance in the book “Jackass Letters: The Anthony Imperioli” letters. You know, once I get off my ass and write a few more of these letters!

I bought Anthony a Rapala lure for Christmas 2011,

but I still haven’t sent it to him.

He got it today! 8/14/2012

I love how the answer from Rapala makes no sense to me. I am sure it would make sense to someone that knows something about lures. I am not such a person.

Having never actually met Anthony I honestly do not know how many hands he has. I do know he often stuffs one up an old lady’s ass. There’s even video-graphic evidence!

[Update 8/14/12: I have been assured by Robert Coller (a man from the internet) that I am not completely dumb. He writes:

heh, I’m a fisherman: that Rapala response that didn’t make sense to you….in reality,  it just didn’t make sense.  

“wide spread” might (note, this is a big “might”) apply to underwater cover (weeds, logs, whatever) being “wide spread”, meaning infrequent, lots of room to fish the lure. But, other than that, who knows. The fact that they thought they could recommend anything given your original letter is the absurd part.  In terms of useful information to make a recommendation on, you might as well have told them what color shirt you would be wearing when you bought it.

All that said, the Rapala crank baits are pretty good lures. cite

If I’d known there was something called a crank bait that would have totally made it in.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen


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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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Jackass Letters by Christopher L. Jorgensen

Jackass Letters

by Christopher L. Jorgensen

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