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Dear Red Lobster

Christopher L. Jorgensen1
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


April 28, 2008


Red Lobster
5900 Lake Ellenor Drive
Orlando, FL 32809


Dear Red Lobster,

I love lobster! But I am now writing to ask if something I’ve been told is true. Recently, I heard lobsters are prepared by dropping them alive into boiling water, their little lobster screams audible as they are cooked to death! This is so obviously barbaric it cannot possibly be true.

There has to be a more humane way to do this. Perhaps it would be possible to lobotomize this tasty crustacean by inserting a wire into their brain prior to cooking, or maybe you could come up with a way to administer a lethal three-drug cocktail, much like we do for death row inmates. The Supreme Court says this is not only humane, but constitutional as well! You could really use this in your advertising! “No Stay of Execution for the Lobster at Red Lobster!” or, “Get a Cocktail while Your Lobster gets a Three-Drug Cocktail!”

Please, at a minimum consider having a local Rabbi oversee the process, praying for and blessing the lobster as it is being prepared. I would feel much better knowing a Rabbi was involved next time I consume this delicacy with melted kosher butter. Of course, this all assumes what I have heard is true, and I still can’t imagine it is, so I will just ask it outright!

Do you boil live lobsters alive?


Thanks,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

 

 

 


1[Author’s note: Originally this letter used my home address. I stopped using this because Rose McGowan can’t take a hint!]

Sponsor:

Reply:

Executive Offices

Guest Relations

 

May 02, 2008


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


Dear Mr. Jorgensen,

Thank you for your interest in Red Lobster; it is always a pleasure to hear from our guests.

Red Lobster and our parent company, Darden Restaurants, have an over 35 year history of commitment to animal welfare and the sustainability of our natural ocean resources. I invite you to learn more about our practices on our website: http://www.dardenrestaurants.com/com_ff_preservation.asp

We appreciate your concern for the live lobsters in our restaurants. Please be assured the live Maine lobsters are humanely treated the entire time they are in the restaurant.

Again, thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Sincerely,

[signed]

Ami
Senior Guest Relations Representative

 

 

 

5900 Lake Ellenor Drive • P.O. Box 593330 • Orlando, FL 32859-3330 • (800) 562-7837

Red Lobster website: www.redlobster.com

Scan of the letter from Red Lobster

Commentary:

Way to dodge the question counselor!

I like how they not only dodge the question, but even after I do the legwork and go to the site that is supposed to have the answer to my concern, I can find nothing that lets me know if they do indeed boil lobsters alive, so I have to presume they do (since how else would you do it?), but they don’t want people knowing about it. Man, I’m getting hungry. If I wasn’t allergic to shellfish (sadly true) I’d go fire up a pot of boiling water right now! Guess I still can, since I’m not allergic to puppy.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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