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Dear SPAM

Christopher L. Jorgensen1
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


April 19, 2008


SPAM
c/o Stagg Foods, LLC
PO Box 800
Austin, Minnesota 55912


Dear SPAM,

What does the acronym SPAM stand for? I looked all over your website, but couldn’t find what it means. I mostly want to know because a friend of mine told me SPAM contains dog meat. This is just plain gross, but since I couldn’t find a definition of the SPAM acronym I am having difficulty refuting her. She says this is why SPAM is popular with Koreans. I think she’s pulling my leg and being a little racist.

I am writing this letter so you can clear this up for me. I would love to put her in her place. I will pass your response on

I was also wondering if you have any plans of coming out with vegetarian SPAM or maybe just certified organic SPAM. This would be great!


Sincerely,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. any free SWAG you could send my way? I capitalized SWAG just like you do SPAM to be clever. Hope that makes you want to send me cool stuff.

 

 


1[Author’s note: Originally this letter used my home address, but I stopped giving this out after Dustin Diamond had sex with my couch. Don’t ask.]

Sponsor:

Reply:

Hormel Food Corporate Services, LLC 1 Hormel Place
Austin MN 55912-3600
Phone 1 800 523 4635


April 24, 2008


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


Dear Mr Jorgensen,

Thank you for contacting us about our SPAM® products.

SPAM® is made from a few simple ingredients: ham, pork, sugar, salt, water, a little potato starch and sodium nitrate. Obviously, your friend has been misinformed about the use of dog meat in the United States.

The name SPAM® is not an acronym, it doesn’t stand for any particular thing. Jay Hormel held a contest back in 1937 with his workers to name the new luncheon meat. A worker named Ken can up with the name SPAM® and won $100 prize.

Please feel free to contact us again if you have any further questions or comments.

Sincerely,

Jacki
Consumer Response Specialist
Ref # 1605205

 

 

 

SPAM website: www.spam.com

Scan of the letter from SPAM

Commentary:

Of course I will have further comments and questions! The most disturbing part of this letter is telling me my invisible friend is “misinformed about the use of dog meat in the United States.” So what countries should she avoid? I can’t have my make-believe friends globetrotting and putting unknown food products in their mouths. We need to know. Don’t worry, I aim to find out.

Sadly, SPAM® sent no SWAG®!

SPAM® does have about the coolest website I’ve seen for a product I can’t imagine people going to a website for.

[Update: I did send a follow-up letter, but there was no response.]

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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