Click to subscribe to the jackassletters.com RSS feed Click to be taken to the jackassletters.com twitter page. Click to be taken to the jackassletters.com Facebook page Click to subscribe to the jackassletters.com podcast Click to be taken to the jackassletters.com YouTube channel

Dear Apple (pt. 1)

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 930421
Des Moines, IA 50393


April 11, 2008


Apple
1 Infinite Loop
Cupertino, CA 95014
408.996.1010


Dear Apple,

They say you can’t get something for nothing, but I sure would like to try. Please send me something for free. Anything would be great! Something like an autographed photo of someone who works there or a used iPod or something. Whatever you think is cool will be cool.

Thanks!


Christopher L. Jorgensen

 

 


1Originally this letter used my home address. Subsequent letters use my PO Box. I have used this address for consistency and to avoid confusion.

Sponsor:

Reply:

April 17, 2008


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


Dear Christopher,

Thanks for writing to Apple. We’re glad to hear how much you enjoy our products.

Hearing from satisfied customers is always a pleasure. An important measure of our company’s success is based on the feedback of our customers.

Did you know the iPod is the world’s most popular family of digital music players with over 140 million sold? The lineup includes iPod shuffle, the world’s most wearable iPod; iPod classic holding up to 40,000 songs; the incredible iPod nano with video playback and the breakthrough iPod touch with a revolutionary Multi-Touch interface.

You can make amazing stuff with a Mac. Every Mac comes with iLife, a suite of software that transforms your photos, music, and video into all kinds of projects. Make high-quality websites, photo books, DVDs, songs, slideshows, music CDs, calendars, cards, prints, podcasts, music videos, documents, and more.

Please keep an eye on Apple’s website, at www.apple.com, for the latest product information.

Thanks again for writing.

Sincerely,

 

Lawrence
Apple Customer Care

 

 

 

 

 

Apple (pt. 1) website: apple.com

Scans of the letter from Apple

Commentary:

Yawn. Marketing speak, marketing speak, marketing speak.

No where did I actually mention I liked their products! I do (who doesn’t?), but still. Not one reference to the actual content of my letter! They could have said, something like, “We regret we can’t send out free stuff to anyone who asks, since we are a company in the business of making money.” Or, “We receive over a million letters like yours every week. Giving even a sticker away would soon bankrupt your favorite computer company, and you don’t want that, do you?” Or they could have thrown in that damn sticker or free iTunes song or a couple hundred shares of Apple stock or a cease and desist letter or something. Come on, anything!

Is there anything in this letter that someone actually taking the time to write wouldn’t already know? I’m a fan, I have many Macs, many iPods, and spend about 12 hours a day in front of a Mac. I think I know the iPod line up and the iLife suite.

And like this letter says anything more than any old boring press release. Double yawn, Apple! Hey Lawrence, can I have your job?

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Be sure to mention what letter your comment applies to. Adding some cash with your correspondence is a good thing. You can email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) if you must.

Latest Replies:

Other points of interest:

Legal:


The logo of the Randazza Legal Group. Click to visit their site.