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Dear Budweiser (pt. 1)

Christopher L. Jorgensen1
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


April 29, 2008


Anheuser-Busch, Inc.
One Busch Place
St. Louis, MO 63118

Dear Budweiser,

I heard that people who work for your company get a free case of Budweiser beer every month. Is this true? Aren’t you worried this will somehow promote alcoholism? Drunks don’t make the best workers (or so Human Resources keeps telling me)!

Actually, the more I think about this, the cooler this deal sounds. Anyway I can get in on this action? I don’t want to work for Anheuser-Busch, Inc., but a free monthly case of Budweiser beer sounds great. You could just send it to the above address.

The way I figure it, this would save me one of my many trips to Casey’s.


Thanks,


Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. I really like those clydesdales. They’re cool!

 

 


1Originally this letter used my home address. Subsequent letters use my PO Box. I have used this address for consistency and to avoid confusion.

Sponsor:

Reply:

Anheuser-Busch, Inc.
One of the Anheuser-Busch Companies


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393

Dear Mr. Jorgensen,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Anheuser Busch.  We truly appreciate your interest in our company.

We’d love to be able to assist in your request.  However, Anheuser-Busch is an alcohol beverage company, so we do have a certain social responsibility.  So that we may assist you, please provide us with your date of birth, in order to ensure that you are above the legal drinking age.

You may reach us at 1-800-DIAL-BUD (800-342-5283) and provide our Customer Information Specialist with the following reference number, [Redacted], for prompt service.  We are available 7 days a week, and our hours of operation are:

Monday — Thursday: 8:00am — 8:00pm CST
Friday: 8:00 am — 10:00pm
Saturday: 12:00pm — 10:00pm
Sunday: 12:00 pm — 6:00pm

Again, thank you for writing to Anheuser-Busch, as well as for your understanding in this matter.  We hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely

[signed]

Kim Burke
Manager
Customer Relationship Group
Anheuser-Busch, Inc.

5012116

 

 

Anheuser-Busch, Inc.
One Busch Place
St. Louis, MO 63118

Budweiser (pt. 1) website: www.budweiser.com

Scan of the first letter from Budweiser

Commentary:

I’ve been delaying the posting of this letter, since I wanted to post it with all the swag they sent my way, but it’s been weeks and weeks and nothing! I had such high hopes. I was like an ant with a damn rubber tree plant. It was to the point where I didn’t want to go to work or leave the house until after the mail came. I mean, what if someone saw them delivering my free beer and took it?

I did call and was informed employees do indeed get free beer. Or at least a free beverage. My memory is a little off, since it’s been a while, but the very nice customer service person told me there’s always at least one non-alcoholic choice (like that’s a choice worth making!). She asked me my favorite beer, I told her Warsteiner, which is more or less true, but since I think she was expecting one of their products, I modified my answer to Bud Lite (again, more or less true, for out-of-the cooler beer, Bud’s not bad).

I was almost afraid to make this call, since I keep thinking someone is going to connect me to Legal. But the rep was nice, I was told they would “get me something out,” but nothing has arrived. Maybe it takes time to deliver a clydesdale.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Be sure to mention what letter your comment applies to. Adding some cash with your correspondence is a good thing. You can email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) if you must.

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