Professional Idiot: Do Not Try This At Home

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Arctic Zero

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

January 23, 2020

Arctic Zero
1345 Broadway
El Cajon, CA 92021

Dear Arctic Zero,

​My partner keeps entering into social media contests on various sites like Instagram, Twitter, and MySpace. At least I think these are the sites. She’s always tagging me in on these contests as the person she’d share her Arctic Zero with if she won, and while I appreciate her thinking of me, the reality is she never wins and every time I am let down. I mean, I try not to get my hopes up, but she tries often enough that I figure by now she should have won at least once, right? I hope these contests aren’t fixed as I already have enough disappointment in my life.

Anyway, she loves your product. Well, more accurately, she loves your “Arctic Zero Non-dairy Brownie Blast.” I, on the other hand, have no opinion, since again, she has never won, so has never bothered sharing any with me. I don’t think she’s as fond of your other flavors, but you would have to ask her for sure.

I will say it’s a bit disappointing to try to hunt down the flavor she prefers. Wal-Mart seems to have quit carrying your product, probably to make room for more guns, and Hy-Vee doesn’t have Brownie Blast. They keep offering to order it for us, and we keep saying, “That would be great,” but they never call us back. Honestly, I’m not even sure why she keeps trying. Even if she someday wins one of your contests we probably wouldn’t be able to find what she wants anyway.

I guess if you could let us know where we can score some Brownie Blast within a 50 mile radius we could stock up. With modern refrigeration we could buy in bulk. I figure if we get enough in one trip maybe she’ll quit tagging me in on all her MySpace posts.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen


Respondent Website:
Arctic Zero



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