Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

October 16, 2020

BOD LUX HOLDINGS, LLC
530-B Harkle Road, Suite 100
Santa Fe, NM 87505

Dear Bag Of Dicks,

​I can’t figure out if I can send your product anonymously. I mean, anyone I would send it to would know it’s from me, since all the assholes in my life know what I think about them, but that’s a far cry from wanting them to be able to prove I sent them a Bag of Dicks. I want plausible deniability if you know what I mean. I want to be able to invite these people to “Eat a bag of dicks!” without them being able to go to Human Resources and having me fired over what is just obviously a joke and totally not a violation of Title IX.

I have three different people in my life right now that I would like to tell to “Eat a Bag of Dicks!” and that’s not even counting the President, so this would be a fairly large sale on your part, but I can’t go through with it if these people will know it was me. I mean, as much as I would like to write, “Eat a Bag of dicks, you asshole! Sincerely, Christopher L. Jorgensen,” and send this to the aforementioned people, I don’t think even my lawyer would be able to keep me from the unemployment lines if I did.

So, can I send a Bag of Dicks anonymously or not? It’s not like I am planning murder here, but I’d still rather not get caught. If there are any forensic counter measures you suggest, I am open to ideas, but I would really like to get your product into the hands of some people that really need to be told to bite the big one!

Sincerely,

Christopher L Jorgensen