Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

October 9, 2020

Bee Bald LLC
3311 Richmond Road, Suite 200
Beachwood, Ohio 44122

Dear Bee Bald,

I am writing you because I too am bald with a beard much like your founder Dennis Fisher. Mine is much much bigger. Don’t worry, this isn’t a competition (if it were though I’d win!)

​I am one of those people who shaves once or twice a year (whether I need to or not!), so I am clean shaven for approximately two or three days in any given year, with a beard that ranges from something you might see the unparalleled actress Kathy Bates sporting, to the full on Ted Kaczynski. I seem to go from daily scruff to a wizard beard overnight, so I really have a difficult time in seeing the point to shaving (or even trimming). I like my beard! I like the fact that the beard scares people. “I’m an unkept madman! Back away slowly!” it says to the world.

The way I see it every month is a “no shave” month. I don’t know why people insist on confining this non-activity to November. How can one grow a “yeard” if one doesn’t let it grow for at least a year? Besides, after going through all the work of growing a beard out for a month, why would you want to shave it off? That’s just a waste of effort if you ask me. I am quite attached to my beard (ha ha!). I will say that I’m not one of those men who actually likes his beard. I just hate shaving more. I wake up, think that today may be the day I start to have ambition, but usually that goes away if I wait a minute for it to pass. So I keep my beard until it becomes embarrassingly long. I generally shave when mothers start to shield their children from me as I pass.

I’m not leaving the house much these days, but I figure when I do finally resume my place in polite company, that perhaps I should try to present myself as someone who hasn’t just lived through a pandemic. That maybe, I should start trying to look a little more like Brad Pitt and less like Dan Haggerty. But this really isn’t something I have a lot of experience with, so I am reaching out for help. I would like to learn a new skill: Grooming.

What would you suggest for a 50 year old dude with a beard that is generally a foot or so long? I can send you photos if you need them, but since I am just a beginner with all this, I figure we should start out slow and you could recommend one of your products for me to try. Please include simple directions as I get frustrated easily.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen