Christopher L. Jorgensen is Not Your Own Personal Jesus

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Dog Appeasing Pheromone

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

August 23, 2011

Ceva Animal Health, Inc.
8901 Rosehill Road
Lenexa, KS 66215

Dear Dog Appeasing Pheromone,

I’m sure you’ve heard of the boy so ugly his mother had to put a pork chop around his neck to get the dogs to play with him? Well, my friend Anthony Imperioli has this same problem! Although Anthony’s not ugly (he’s quite handsome in fact!) dogs don’t seem to much care for the man. So I was thinking a few dollops of D.A.P. behind the ears would help my dapper friend and dogs get along.

This wouldn’t even be a problem, but Anthony has gotten it into his head that he wants a cockapoo. I’m not sure who besides Anthony would want such an unnatural breed of dog, but there you have it. Anthony wants a cockapoo and a cockapoo ostensibly being a dog won’t like my Canadian friend. So what’s to be done? Will D.A.P. help in this case?

I suppose if a bit of D.A.P won’t work we can always go the pork chop route.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen




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