Jackass Letters: When Psychotherapy No Longer Helps!

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Five Guys

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

March 5, 2020

Five Guys Enterprises, LLC
10718 Richmond Highway
Lorton, VA 22079

Dear Five Guys,

Thanks for opening up a restaurant in Ames, IA. I’ve been quite excited to eat at a Five Guys ever since I saw President Obama ordering some on TV. Your fries and milkshakes look amazing, but sadly, I am one of those people who doesn’t eat beef. I am not militant about it or anything, so it’s not like I’d boycott some place just because they are serving something I don’t want to eat. I do like chicken though, and I like fish. I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention, but chicken sandwiches are quite popular these days. While not as popular, the fish sandwich could also be a hot seller for you if done well (especially during Lent with all the Catholics in Iowa). I would encourage you to add these items to your menu to accommodate people like me who would love to eat at a Five Guys but who really don’t want a burger.

Do we have a deal? Also, please make these more affordable than your burgers. Even if I ate red meat, I don’t think I could afford to eat at a Five Guys very often due to the prices. A nice budget chicken or fish sandwich would solve all of my problems. It takes very little to make me happy. Generally, as long as I have a fully belly and the police aren’t harassing me then I am content!


Christopher L. Jorgensen

Respondent Website:
Five Guys

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