Jackass Letters: When Psychotherapy No Longer Helps!

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear FluentPet

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

January 8, 2021

CleverPet
4610 Park Blvd.
San Diego, CA 92116

Dear FluentPet,

I am fairly certain my cat already knows how to speak. She is very vocal when she has something to say. Only real problem is I don't speak cat. I was thinking of purchasing your product so she could paw around giving me a piece of her mind and pushing my buttons, but I'm not sure I want to know what's going through her tiny feline brain. What if instead of being the demure little lady I believe her to be I find out that she's got quite the potty mouth? Or, what if she tells me that she's planning to take over the world or eat my eyes when I am dead? I'm not sure this is knowledge I could live with.

I get that the idea of having long conversations with my pet is probably never going to happen, but I'm just as afraid that I'll end up spending the rest of my life debating beings stupider than me (this is literally my worst nightmare and why I stay off the Facebook). I'm not sure why the system we have now needs improving. She says something I don't understand and I reply with something I am sure she doesn't understand. We go back and forth until we've each had our say and then we go about our business. I do people things, she goes and does cat things.

Would FluentPet change my relationship with my cat for the better? I mean, I am all for counseling if it actually works. I just don't want to spend money I don't really have on things I don't really need if you know what I mean?

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen





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