Jackass Letters: When Psychotherapy No Longer Helps!

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Klondike Bar

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 20, 2010

Klondike Ice Cream, Inc.
P.O. Box 19007
Green Bay, Wisconsin 54307-9007

Dear Klondike Bar,

I bet you get letters all the time from people telling you what they would do for a Klondike bar. They probably even confess to all kinds of crimes! This is probably kind of weird. It's not like you have some kind of priest/penitent relationship. You're under no obligation to keep their confessions secret. In fact, I'm no lawyer, but I bet if you didn't report these admissions of guilt you could be considered an accessory.

I once committed petty theft to get a Klondike Bar. There was one in the freezer, and it wasn't my house, but I took it and ate it anyway. Whew! That feels better to get that off my chest. I'd rather you didn't tell anyone, but if you feel compelled to I'll understand.

So what's the weirdest thing someone's done for a Klondike Bar? I'm sure it's ok for you to tell me. If not...if there is some kind of confectioners code of ethics, that forbids you from releasing specifics about the things people do to get a Klondike Bar, let me know. I have all kinds of stuff I'd like to come clean on!


Christopher L. Jorgensen

Points of Interest