Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Marc J. Randazza

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

October 13, 2009

Marc J. Randazza, PA
P.O. Box 5516
Gloucester, Massachusetts 01930

Dear Marc J. Randazza,

I loved how you took Glenn Beck to task and exposed him for the idiot he is. This was sheer brilliance! You, sir, are now my idol. This is a great and terrible thing, so I thought I’d write and let you know your responsibilities.

If you do this, I will light a candle in your honor whenever I am in a church that allows this (for at least the next year or until I find a new idol or you quit being awesome, whatever comes first). Also, I’ll let you defend me against Glenn Beck when he sues me!

  1. You must keep on being awesome. Failure to do so will will only result in disappointment in my life and frankly I’ve had enough of this.
  2. You must send me an autographed photo for my shrine. I know this must be a common request for most lawyers, what with their adoring legions of fans and all, but for you it is a requirement. You can send the photo to the above address.
  3. There really isn’t a third thing, but two things makes a pretty short and lame list. Be awesome and the photo does pretty much covers it!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. I don’t really have anything more to say, but I like post scripts.

Marc J. Randazza, PA
P. O. Box 5516
Gloucester, Massachusetts 01930

October 21, 2009

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P. O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Dear Christopher L. Jorgensen,

Thank you for recognizing my awesomeness.  I am pleased to accept your request to serve as your idol.  I will continue to be awesome to my best of ability, as I would not wish to disappoint you.  Your letter states that you have had enough disappointment, and as your idol I would like to use my awesomeness to push your life in another direction.  From now on, you shall have nothing but awesomeness in your life if I have anything to say about it.

I would like to request that you not light candles in my honor, at least not in any churches.  I am an atheist, and I think that churches are definitely not awesome.  If you light a candle in one (in my honor), and then it falls over and burns the church down, people might think that I put you up to it.  So lets be careful with fire, young Christopher!

You strike me as a very special boy and a key member of the Randazza Society.  I wish I could come visit in Iowa and assist you with your work.

Finally, I would not worry about Glenn Beck suing you.  He is an asshat, and by the time you get this letter, he will probably have already self-destructed like Morton Downey Junior.  Do you remember him?  Don’t worry.  Nobody else does either.

Your friend,

Attorney Marc J. Randazza
Dictated, but not read.

p.s.  There isn’t really a “Randazza Society,” but it sounds like a good idea to start one.  You are its number one and founding member.


Respondent Website:
Marc J. Randazza

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