Longer Than You Think, Dad! Longer Than You Think!

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear MyoStorm

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

March 5, 2020

MyoStorm
663 Stadium Avenue
Provo, UT 84604

Dear MyoStorm,

​A ball that heats up and vibrates! What will they think of next? Something like this seems like a pretty cool idea, but I’m fairly lazy so would probably just let it sit in my lap. I mean, if I were a bit more ambitious, I could see rolling it all over my body. I have quite a bit of back pain and I sit on my ass entirely too much. I think my gluteus maximuses are starting to atrophy. Basically, I am fat and old and I ache all over from my head to the bottoms of my feet, so until the state of Iowa legalizes marijuana, I think I am going to have to look for other ways to alleviate the pain of my existence. But here’s the thing: I don’t want to hurt myself, and lolling around on a hot baseball doesn’t seem like it would feel that great (even if it vibrates!).

I’m a big guy and not at all fit like all the photos of people I see using your MyoStorm ball. I get it. Sex sells so you need attractive hard body models to ship units, but the vast majority of people look nothing like the people demonstrating the use of this thing. I’m afraid I’d lay on it and would break the damn thing or worse one of my ribs! That wouldn’t be helpful at all! In short, as intrigued as I am, and as appealing as the idea of a pain-free existence is, I am still afraid of the MyoStorm 2.0.

I have a lot of irrational fears, but I am not sure this is one of them. Can you please assure me that I will remain safe and free from harm if I try one of these things out? As a lifelong sufferer from chronic pain I think it’s come down to the MyoStorm or moving to a state with recreational marijuana.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. Do you have any advice on how to keep my cats from playing with this? Or is that ok?




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