Christopher L. Jorgensen is Not Your Own Personal Jesus

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Paqui

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

October 17, 2020

Paqui One Chip Challenge
500 West 5Th St., Suite 900
Austin, TX 78701

Dear Paqui,

​I bet I could do your One Chip Challenge. I bet I could do a whole bag of the damn things. I mean, if it’s good why would you only want one? And if it’s bad, why are you selling them? I bet the chip isn’t even that hot. This happens to me all the time; Salsa branded as “Burn your taste buds off!” and it barely brings the heat, or hot sauce that calls itself an “ass blaster” and the next day I don’t even get ring sting. I consider this false advertising, but it happens to me all the time. I buy the “Amazin’ Blazin’ Whatever” and it ends up not being spicy at all. Like your grandmother would eat it level of hot. I have wasted so much money on a quest for actually hot food, and mostly failed.

Usually, I just make my own, curries and chills and such, but you can imagine that making corn chips is a bit problematic for the home cook. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I like my food to challenge my manhood, but that’s because I am a little insecure in my masculinity. When I put down a truly hot snack or meal and I know I will be regretting it in 6 to 8 hours, then I feel pretty manly. When I am the only person at the table who can eat something I feel like a circus strongman! The only person I know who can eat stuff as hot as me is my cousin’s wife, Melissa, but she’s not insecure like I am, and I don’t think she’s worried about her masculinity.

Anyway, I was going to order one of your One Chip Challenge chips, but someone on your end must have screwed up on the shipping. Seven bucks to buy a chip, and eight bucks to ship it? No way that comes out right, unless I am missing something. I’m often confused though, so maybe I get something if I successfully accomplish this challenge? I mean, if I get a hat or a shirt or a trip to Bermuda, then the price maybe makes sense.

I will say, I tried to save myself the shipping and buy one in a store, but no one around me seems to carry them. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen




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