Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
October 30, 2020
Parking Today Media
5777 W. Century Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90045
Dear Parking Today,
I like money, and I like writing, so I thought I would write you and see if “Parking Today” is a paying market. The way I see it, parking is an underrated subject! I’d love to cash a check from Parking Today for an article or two. I can pitch a few ideas, but I think you can understand my reluctance to do so without knowing if I will be paid on publication of my parking experiences. I’m one of those people with all kinds of ideas bouncing around in his head, so I am pretty sure I could pop out a parking article or five.
Once, I remember doing some holiday shopping and I was looking for a nice spot to park and I passed an angled parking space, so being a fairly decent driver I backed right into that spot and went to do my gift buying. You can imagine my surprise when I came back only to find a ticket on my 2000 Dodge Neon for parking backwards in an angled slot. Dumb! That was $15 down the drain, but I got so mad about it that I did the rest of my holiday shopping in Des Moines rather than Ames (where I live). I am sometimes a petty person, so I drove 30 miles out of my way to make sure that my sales tax went to a different city! I figured that ended up being way more of a revenue loss for Ames than what they made off my stupid fine. I mean, I get it. A lot of people are bad drivers and doing something like this would be difficult for them, but I found it easy. It’s also important to note that this was in a lot! It’s not like I was backing up into traffic or anything. I know ignorance of the law is no excuse, but man, I didn’t even know that was illegal. Anyway, maybe I could write up something like this for your readers? This was like 20 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday, and that $15 was real money back then.
I have tons of parking stories! I am one of those people who will park all the way far away from the store I am shopping at in the very last spot in the lot to make sure I get in a few extra steps of exercise (not that this seems to be helping much). That’s another idea I could write up. Parking as fitness! There are people out there who will circle for like 10 minutes just to get a closer space to the door of their health clubs. I’m not one of those people. I don’t even care if it’s raining.
I could go on all day about parking, so I really hope you are a paying market. I hate doing things for free, especially writing! It’s such a chore if there’s not money to be made, but I know you already know this. So go ahead and send me your rates and maybe we can work together. The more you pay, the more effort I will put in.
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Good thing I'm not filthy rich or my neighbors would have to put up with my pet hippopotamuses freezing to death in my yard every winter.— jackassletters.com (@jackassletters) January 31, 2020