Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

February 29, 2020

Patriotic Millionaires
1701 K St. NW Suite 750
Washington, DC 20006

Dear Patriotic Millionaires,

I was reading your objectives and your criteria for membership. I admire what you are trying to do, and I too would like to join your club and make the pledge! Problem is, I need many hundreds of thousands of dollars more before I can even count myself a millionaire, let alone earn that in a single year! That seems like crazy talk to me. There can’t be that many people out there making a million dollars a year can there? I mean, you know, and I know, a million bucks just doesn’t go as far these days, but I also happen to know that most people won’t see that much money in their entire lifetimes (especially once you take out taxes and social security and escorts). So what gives?

If the goal here is simply wealth redistribution, I say we cut out the middleman! Just have those people with extra money send cold hard cash to people like me that don’t have unneeded funds. I promise we’ll spend it and further stimulate the economy. Let’s call this the trickle up theory of economics! You can just have them make out the checks to Christopher L. Jorgensen, since that’s my name. I promise I’ll do good things with any money I get, like put on puppet shows for children, or feeding the hungry or something.

Also, you guys might not know this, but millionaires can voluntary pay all the taxes they like. There’s even a department for this and everything. It’s the Bureau of the Fiscal Service. Seriously, I did this one year. I sent an extra $5 to help pay down the National Debt, but it didn’t really seem to help much. Anyway, your Patriotic Millionaires could consider doing this if they like. I prefer they send the money to me, but I can also understand if they would rather trust the government.

Just send money to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

And I’ll make good use of it, ok?

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen