Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something?

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Planet Fitness

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

February 27, 2020

Planet Fitness Corporate Office
4 Liberty Ln W
Hampton, NH 03842

Dear Planet Fitness,

Thanks for opening up a franchise in my area! I’m thinking of joining.

I got a direct mailing that says something like $3 signup fee, and only $10 a month, and I have 24 hour access to various pieces of equipment. Now, usually, I just recycle things like this right away, but I’ve recently been thinking of trying to shed half my body weight. I am quite out of shape. The flyer didn’t really say what all I get access to for my money. I don’t require a lot. I’m generally happy on a treadmill or elliptical. I’m fat, not picky!

So I need to know: What’s the catch? I know there has to be one. $10 a month with no ongoing obligation seems too cheap. So what am I going to get walking through the door? Can I expect the hard sell for additional services like personal training or upgrade packages to gain access to the sauna or hot tubs? Can I only use the equipment for 10 minutes a day? Do I have to join a whole group of people to work out all at the same time? Is this an introductory rate that will immediately skyrocket?

I’m fairly cheap and anti-social, so the idea of having to workout in a group of people isn’t appealing to me at all, but then neither is finding out that everything is an additional fee. Also, I don’t want anyone yelling at me. I know this seems motivational, but I find it upsetting. Will anyone yell at me? I hope not.

Let me know what I can expect if I join. I need to know before I get this fat ass off this couch!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen




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