Professional Idiot: Do Not Try This At Home

Take down requests and C&D letters will be forwarded to my attorney Marc J. Randazza.

Dear Whole Foods

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

April 26, 2012

Whole Foods Market, Inc.
550 Bowie Street
Austin, TX 78703-4644

Dear Whole Foods,

First, I must commend you on not serving up endangered species to people that insist on eating tasty fish. There are plenty of animals out there that can be killed and eaten without contributing to the permanent demise of a species! Stewardship takes guts and you have stewardship! So hats off!

I keep reading about how you are just pandering to “green people,” but I believe you actually care. Even if you don’t care these people are still your customers! You should pander to them. Don’t give them fish they won’t be able to eat again in a few years. Think of your green people. The worst thing that can happen is you get hooked on a fish that tastes really yummy only to have it go extinct on you!

I can’t wait for you to open your Des Moines Whole Foods store! I plan to be there opening day. (Maybe you could sneak my girlfriend and me in the back.) I’m going to buy some sustainable fish to eat. I’m hoping shark is sustainable, since you have no idea how hard it is to get a good shark steak in Iowa! If shark is off the list maybe you could suggest something else that’s as good (or sell me some under the table).


Christopher L. Jorgensen

Points of Interest