Dear LEGO

Christopher L. Jorgensen¹
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393

September 9, 2011

LEGO Systems, Inc.
555 Taylor Road
P.O. Box 1138
Enfield, CT 06083-1138

Dear LEGO,

I’m sure by now you have seen JPMorgan’s Chief Investment Officer Peter Cembalest’s Lego-themed report explaining the European debt crisis, but if not I am including a copy. It chaps my hide that this guy did such a crappy job. There are image artifacts all over the place in this thing. My guess is he just took pictures off the internet and used them without permission. You would think that a company that took a 12 billion dollar bailout could afford a few LEGOS!

As far as I can tell there is no credit given to your company at all in this report, but I have to admit I didn’t read it all. There’s a bunch of crap disclaimers at the bottom that basically say there’s a good chance that Cembalest doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about so you shouldn’t trust him with your money (at least that’s how I read it. I’m not a lawyer). But there’s nothing about LEGOS or your trademark or anything!

I think you should nip this in the bud! If you don’t stop this man then kids everywhere will start ripping off photos of LEGOS to illustrate high school reports and stuff. Think of those kids! They will probably all get F minuses if they follow this guy’s lead!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. JPMorgan’s Chief Investment Officer Peter Cembalest’s Lego-themed report.

Reply:

LEGO ®

-001-01

Christopher Jorgensen¹
PO Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393-3042
USA

029281397A

November 17, 2011

Dear Christopher,

Thanks for getting in touch with us.

You can use LEGO ® brand names, trademarks and copyrights, etc. but only if it’s for a personal project or one that nobody is making any money from.

I have to tell you about a few rules, though:

1) Please always spell the word LEGO using capital letters and use it only as an adjective not a noun. For example you can write “Model built with LEGO bricks” but not “Model built with Legos”.

2) The first time you use the word LEGO please follow it with a “®” which shows everybody it’s a registered trademark.

3) You can’t use the red LEGO logo.

If you’d like to find out more about our rules please go to
http://aboutus.lego.com/en-us/corporate/fairplay.aspx, or get loads more LEGO Group information by going to http://aboutus.lego.com/en-us/corporate/legalnotice.aspx.

Happy building!

Sincerely,

Jesse
LEGO Direct Consumer Services

LEGO Direct Consumer Services P.O. Box 1138 Enfield, CT 06083 USA
www.lego.com Tel. 800-233-8756 Email (web form): www.LEGO.com/service

Better Building More Fun Better Building More Fun Better Building More Fun Better Building

¹[Editor’s Note: due to the impending collapse of the US government this PO Box is no longer valid. Check the FUQ for updated information.]

Commentary:

Perter is the son. Michael Cembalest is the dad. I regret my error in my letter to LEGO.

I got this detail correct in the letter I sent to Michael:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393

September 9, 2011

Michael Cembalest
Chief Investment Officer
J.P.Morgan Global Wealth Management
345 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10154

Dear Michael Cembalest,

I read with great interest your financial report made with LEGOS and I think you should have put a disclaimer in there about how you don’t speak for the LEGO company and that your use of the LEGO people does not constitute an endorsement of the LEGO company and that your opinions might be inaccurate and incomplete and shouldn’t be mistaken for the opinions of the LEGO people depicted in your report.

You should probably have also mentioned that LEGO is trademarked and that the images you were using are under copyright. I’m no lawyer, but if I were you I’d think about getting one. If LEGO finds out what you’ve done they’re going to be pissed.

If you were still in college I doubt that paper would have gotten above a C+ (and that’s being generous!). It’s not only that you used images without permission, but you also did a crappy job of it. Many of those photos had pixel artifacts and interlacing issues. Whatever you do don’t go into marketing or graphic design!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. I was going to rag on you about how JP Morgan should have been able to afford to buy you enough LEGO toys for you to illustrate your report with real toys, but I see JP Morgan has paid back their 12 billion dollar bailout, so I can understand how money is probably tight once again.

Here’s a copy of Michael and Peter’s report. Decide for yourself if he violated the LEGO trademark.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Be sure to mention what letter your comment applies to. Adding some cash with your correspondence is a good thing. You can email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) if you must.