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Dear Ben & Jerry’s

Christopher L. Jorgensen1
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


April 15, 2008


Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Holdings, Inc.
30 Community Drive
South Burlington, VT 05403-6828


Dear Ben & Jerry,

You guys sent me an email offer for a free ice cream cone, but when I went to your online Scoop Shop Locator store finder it would not tell me where the closest Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shop is! All it would do is tell me there wasn’t one within 100 miles of Slater, IA. This hurt my feelings and made me feel like I live in the middle of nowhere! I wish it would actually tell me where the closest one is, since I might be up for a road trip.

I don’t really think it’s fair you taunt me with a free offer that I can’t participate in. I really like your ice cream. “Chubby Hubby” is my favorite even though I am not married. I am a bit chubby though. Maybe you could mail me some to the above address? If you think it would melt in the mail you don’t have to send me any.

You could just open up a shop in Slater, IA. That would be really cool. Then I wouldn’t have to drive at all!

Have you ever thought of coming out with some “Jerry and Ben’s” ice cream? I bet it would be even better! Ben’s got nothing on Jerry! If you use this idea, please send me something cool, since I came up with the idea.

Thanks.

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. facebook is lame.


enc: printout of email offer I can’t take advantage of.

 

1Originally this letter used my home address. Subsequent letters use my PO Box. I have used this address for consistency and to avoid confusion.

This site in book form. Buy it now!

Reply:

Ben & Jerry’s


April 22, 2008


Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 93042
Des Moines, IA 50393


Dear Christopher,

Thank you very much for contacting us. It was nice to hear from you.

We are sorry to hear that there is no scoop shop close enough for you to get a free cone. We are opening shops as fast as we can. Your request for a shop in your town has been sent to our Retail Operation department for review. We hope it will give them a chance to get one out your way someday in the future.

Thank you for writing and caring.

Sincerely,

(signed “Sharon”)

Consumer Affairs

Enc.

Hey! We respect your privacy, so we’d like you to know that we’ve saved your name and address and we might be contacting you in the future. We’ve got a great privacy policy which we’d be happy to share with you. To get a copy or to let us know you’d rather we didn’t contact you, visit out website, http://www.benjerry.com/our_company/privacy/, or give us a call at (802) 846-1500 M-F, 9-5 ET and ask for Consumer Affairs.

30 Community Dr./So. Burlington, VT 05403-6828 tel: 802/846-1500 online: www.benjerry.com

Ben & Jerry’s website: www.benjerrys.com

Scans of the letter from Ben and Jerry

Commentary:

Letter from Ben & Jerry's. Click to be taken to larger size image.

This is the offer I got in my inbox. Now I’ve been a ChunkSpelunker for some time. I enjoy getting my ChunkMail (I don’t make this stuff up) as much as the next guy, but every year I get this offer, and I can’t use it! I mostly faked being upset, but does seem to me their marketing could be a bit more sophisticated. Why send this to someone who lives more than 100 miles away from one of your shops, especially if there is no way to find out the closest one to me. A world traveler like myself just might find himself in Milan on this glorious day of days (not sure if there is a “scoop shop” in Milan), and decide to stop in for that free cone!

I do think they are over pandering when they say they are forwarding my request to have a shop put in Slater. I’m pretty sure we’re not on their radar.

They did send me a coupon for $0.55, which after you subtract the cost of my stamp, means this letter put me $0.14 ahead of the game! I do like their ice cream, and no one said they had to send anything, so I’m almost happy.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen

Website: http://jackassletters.com

Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Be sure to mention what letter your comment applies to. Adding some cash with your correspondence is a good thing. You can email me at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) if you must.

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