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An Unanswered Letter to US Pole Dance Federation

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 27, 2011

215 West 84th Street, # 501
New York, NY 10024

Dear US Pole Dance Federation,

My friend Anthony Imperioli is saddened to learn he is disqualified to compete in your pole dancing competitions on two fronts. One, he’s a dude. Two, he’s Canadian. I told him he should write about becoming a judge instead, but that boy is shy, so I am writing you on his behalf! I’m guessing there are few female pole dancing judges, but I could be wrong (I often am!), so I think Anthony would obviously be qualified: he has a penis and enjoys pole dancing. What more does one need to know?

Anthony is quite famous in Canada (I hear he’s also big in Germany), so he could be one of your celebrity judges. He has a puppet show on the internet and it would be pretty fun to have Nonna Maria giving out scores to strippers. It would also give Anthony something to have in his lap so no one could see his embarrassment!

If you could share with me how much judging pays (and what Anthony needs to do to become one) I will pass it along. Being Canadian he’ll need paid under the table of course.

I anxiously await your reply.


Christopher L. Jorgensen


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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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