An Unanswered Letter to McVitie’s Penguin

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

December 31, 2011

McVitie’s Penguin
c/o KP Snacks
P.O. Box No. 4
Ashby-de-la-Zouch
Leicestershire
LE65 1NZ
UK

Dear McVitie’s Penguin,

Happy New Year!

I would have to say your Penguin tea break treats are the second best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth! These things are super yummy!

I’m writing to share a penguin story I thought you might enjoy. The story is 100% true and mostly autobiographical. About 12 years ago I had a job working in a grade school. I was walking down the hall with a coworker and there were cutout silhouettes of penguins on the wall. These were of various sizes. One came up to my waist. I turned to the guy I was walking with and said, “That’s a big fucking penguin. No way they get that big!”

Suddenly, I hear this little voice pipe up, “Actually, sir, that’s an emperor penguin. They can grow up to three feet tall.” I turned around and there was a child not much larger than an emperor penguin. I felt bad for swearing, since I am sure he heard me. To this day I wonder if I taught that kid the eff-word. I’m guessing I didn’t. I bet a precocious child like that already knew how to swear. I sure did when I was his age!

Anyway, love the biscuits. We call them cookies in this country.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen