An Unanswered Letter to Ed Fallon

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

December 9, 2008

Ed Fallon
1321 8th Street
Des Moines IA 50314

Dear Ed Fallon,

One of my hobbies is writing famous people, corporations, asshats, cool cats, politicians, organizations & institutions and people like you extremely dumbass letters to see what kind of response I can get. I thought I was alone in this hobby (Don Novello doesn’t seem to be doing it anymore), but then you came along!

I heard you recently wrote President-elect Barack Obama a letter asking to be named as the official “White House farmer.” That shit just cracks me up! You do know there isn’t such a job, right? You’ll have to let me know if he writes back, since I think I’d love to get a White House gig writing letters or something. Maybe I could do that for you if you get your job?

I’ve gotten responses from soon-to-be former Vice President Richard B. Cheney, that Pope guy, the Queen of England, ALPO, and the Iowa Lottery (to name a few). So I am obviously qualified. What do you think? Should I go for it? President George W. Bush didn’t write back though (he’s one of them asshats I was talking about), so maybe I’m not nearly as cool as I like to think I am.

Stay in touch,

Christopher L. Jorgensen