An Unanswered Letter to AG Mike Cox (MI)

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 29, 2010

Attorney General Mike Cox
G. Mennen Williams Building, 7th Floor
525 W. Ottawa St.
P.O. Box 30212
Lansing, MI 48909

Dear Mike Cox,

I think it’s time to admit that Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has screwed the pooch. It’s time to distance yourself and throw him to the masses like the Romans did to Jesus. He’s a batshit crazy loon and we both know it. His positions are indefensible even by a DOMA advocate like yourself, and he needs to go.

If you have to, just cite some kind of “appearance of impropriety” clause, or maybe even fire him for, you know, “hate speech,” or abuse of power, or some other clever lawyerly trick to kick Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell out on his uptight ass. It’s time for Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell to step up to the microphone and tell the world he wants to spend more time with his family. If you don’t do this you know eventually Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell is going to drag you down with him and it will be you in front of that microphone muttering about “personal reasons.”

Also, in no way am I trying to imply that Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has ever had actual sexual congress with any canines, but to be truthful, I haven’t spent much time looking into this. It wouldn’t surprise me if a man like Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has been caught with his dick in his hand and the centerfold from K9 Magazine at least once.

Anxiously awaiting your reply. Please include an autographed photo.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen