An Unanswered Letter to Fuddruckers

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

May 14, 2008

Fuddruckers, Inc.
5700 Mopac Expressway South
Suite C300
Austin, TX 78749

Dear Fuddruckers,

Did no one at your organization think through your name? Does no one there understand the concept of a spoonerism?

The other day I was eating right across the street from one of your restaurants (at Red Robin) and some kid was whining to his parents about how much he hated Red Robin. Who could hate Red Robin? Stupid kid, does he not know they have bottomless steak fries? Anyway, he kept crying about how much he wanted to go to Drud-fuckers instead.

Right in public, one table away, this child kept chanting, over and over again, “I want Drud-fuckers! I want Drud-fuckers! I want Drud-fuckers!” His parents refused to do the responsible thing and just smack the whelp (or at least muzzle the child). I can’t help but think if your restaurants had a more reasonable name this precocious and precious snowflake wouldn’t have been nearly as annoying. I swear to God I was ready to smack him myself!

If you aren’t interested in changing your name, I hope from here on out, this child will get his way, and he and his parents will go to Fuddruckers, leaving Red Robin to us bottomless-steak-fry-loving-folk!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen