An Unanswered Letter to Chili Dawg’s Foods Of Fire

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
USA

January 27, 2011

Chili Dawg’s Foods Of Fire
PO Box 602
Blair, NE 68008

Dear Chili Dawg’s Foods Of Fire,

Man, your Razbanero: Razbanero Pepper Spread puts me in a quandary. It’s so tasty, but somewhat disappointing too! I was expecting it to burn my tongue off! Or at least have a pleasant burn, but it doesn’t exactly live up to the “food of fire” name. In fact I found it quite tame. I’m guessing my girlfriend could eat the stuff and she thinks mild salsa is too hot.

You should come out with a product that requires a bio-hazard sticker on the side. Something that you have to wear gloves and goggles to even open (in a well venerated area). You could ship this with a liability waiver and it would be great fun watching people trying to eat the stuff. You know idiots would be uploading videos to youtube!

So please come out with a batch of something devastatingly painful. I suggest using a few Naga Jolokia peppers. Those habaneros aren’t cutting it!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen