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An Unanswered Letter to OfficeMax

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

Dec. 29, 2008

263 Shuman Blvd.
Naperville, IL 60563

Dear OfficeMax,

I have an affinity for office supplies that borders on the unnatural! It’s nearly a fetish. Do you think it’s wrong I like to spend so much time looking at scissors, notecards, paperclips, paper punches, staplers, envelopes, pens, tape, paste glue, printer toner, calculators, label makers, bubble wrap, laser pointers, and leather office chairs? Sometimes, I need a little private time with your print catalog, and live in fear my girlfriend with go through my web browser history and realize exactly how much time I spend on your website.

Is this normal? Have other people told you this very same thing? Sometimes I get so excited I get downright sticky! Do I need therapy?


Christopher L. Jorgensen


Have a comment? Put a stamp on an envelope and drop it in the mail to:

Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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