An Unanswered Letter to FreeRepublic

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

December 5, 2009

FreeRepublic, LLC
PO BOX 9771
Fresno, CA 93794

Dear FreeRepublic,

I am not a happy man. I go through life in a perpetual state of pessimism and disappointment. This is why I love your website. Whenever I am in the mood for some vitriol and hatred (which is often) your site never lets me down.

I was wondering if you could somehow make me an honorary FReeper. I’d want some kind of certificate or badge or something to denote this. I can’t think of anything cooler. Well, uniforms would be neat too. Something stylish with shiny boots of leather! You don’t have those do you? Do you have a catalog? If you don’t you should consider it. Think of how much money you could be making selling autographed photos of true patriots like Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Fred Phelps.

You can just send my certificate to the above address.

Thanks,

Christopher L. Jorgensen