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An Unanswered Letter to Francis J. Manasek

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 21, 2010

Francis J. Manasek
PO Box 706
Norwich, VT 05055

Dear Francis J. Manasek,

as I am wont to do I was recently perusing Patent filings and came across “Patent No.: US 7,195,619 B2 Absorbent Article for Protection Against Anal Leakage,” and at first glance I’d thought you’d reinvented the pantyliner, but on closer inspection it is obvious your invention is much more sophisticated than just an absorbent barrier or diaper.

I seldom go anywhere without a spare pair of pants. It just seems like the prudent thing to do. I tend to eat entirely too many (and too much) olestra laden foods. This along with my daily dose of Alli and most things slip through me like a greased goose!

I’ve done my due diligence, sir, and am unable to locate your product. I’ve checked at Wal-Greens, K-Mart, Wal-Mart, and in desperation, but I am unable to locate these pads! So I am writing to see if you would be so kind as to send me a sample (or at the very least provide me with the name under which they are sold!).

It would be freeing to be able to leave the house with only the pair of I am wearing. I look forward to this day and your reply.


Christopher L. Jorgensen



It would have ruled it I’d gotten a response. Oh well. Remember, all typos are preserved, so that letter is exactly as I sent it.

This letter was suggested by @pjern. You should check out the photos on Phil’s website.

By Christopher L. Jorgensen


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Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

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