An Unanswered Letter to John McCain

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

April 15, 2008

John McCain 2008
P.O. Box 16118
Arlington, VA 22215

Dear Senator McCain,

My girlfriend is a Republican. Could I get an autographed photo made out to her? Her first name is “[Redacted].” Just sign it “To [Redacted],” then add whatever you think a Republican like yourself would want to read. Fred Thompson gave me his autograph for her. I’m hoping you will too. Big thanks!

I wanted to let you know (like you don’t already) that hands down you have the most attractive spouse left in the race. She’s still too old for my tastes, but she’s better looking than Bill or Michelle. Not that the election should be decided on spousal looks. If this was the case Fred Thompson would be the presumptive Republican nominee and Dennis Kucinich would be the presumptive Democratic nominee. Which of these wives do you think is more attractive? Remember, Elizabeth has a pierced tongue and speaks with a British accent!

You will be 80—assuming you win the general election and become President (and are elected for a second time)—when you leave office. I’ve heard you called an old curmudgeon with a bad temper. What do you have to say to your critics that already think you’re too old to be President?

I am enclosing $1 for your campaign since this is what I sent to Hillary as well. I would hate for my dollar to be what pushed her over the top to victory.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. when you were in the military did you ever get a “Dear John Letter?”