An Unanswered Letter to Public Advocate of the United States

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

February 5, 2009

Public Advocate of the United States
5613 Leesburg Pike, Suite 17
Falls Church, VA 22041

Dear PAUS,

I saw on your website that you sell a “Barney Frank Fruitcake,” which I find so clever! He not only talks funny, but that man has sex with another man, so you know, “Fruit = Gay!” and “Cake = Cake!” So, sure, that works, but what I don’t get is your disclaimer: “Warning: Photo of Barney Frank Fruitcake for illustration purposes only.” What, we don’t get to eat actual Barney? The cake isn’t made out of 100% Frank? That’s as it should be. Who would want to do that? Yuck! No way!

What total insane person would think the fruitcake would be made out of actual Barney Frank? Why would a sane person need to include this disclaimer? I am so lost I am feeling bad for poor Barney. This almost makes me want me to become a Democrat! Who made him into a fruitcake? Does no one know they recycle these:

http://www.fruitcakerecycling.com/

We Conservatives need to band together and make a stand against Fruitcakes and Barney Frank! I’ve been assured both taste bad. If you disagree, feel free to find out for yourself!

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen