An Unanswered Letter to Chris Armstrong

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 29, 2010

Chris Armstrong
Michigan Student Assembly
3909 Michigan Union - 530 S. State Street
Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1349

Dear Chris Armstrong,

on behalf of straight people everywhere I extend an apology for Andrew Shirvell. We’re not exactly sure what went wrong there, but we suspect he’s just plain old batshit crazy. Maybe someday Andrew Shirvell will get the help he needs, but until then, once again, I say we’re sorry.

I am including the letters I sent to Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell and Attorney General Mike Cox. I don’t expect either to reply, but that’s not the point of the exercise. I just think asshats should be told they’re asshats, but until they legalize tattooing this backwards, on these people’s sloping foreheads, so that they see “Asshat” every time they look into the mirror, I will have to be satisfied that my 88¢ in postage will carry the message.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. I am throwing in two bucks because I’d like to buy you a beer and I don’t see myself visiting Michigan any time soon (but if I do I’ll swing by to apologize for Andrew Shirvell in person).

enc: letters to Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell and ttorney General Mike Cox.