An Unanswered Letter to Chuck E. Cheese’s

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

March 10, 2012

CEC Entertainment, Inc.
P.O. Box 152077
Irving, TX 75015

Dear Chuck E. Cheese’s,

This is a mostly true story: when my niece was five or six I was invited to her birthday party. Being a good uncle I drove the two hours to my sister’s house. We were supposed to go to Chuck E. Cheese’s (I was looking forward to this, since I’d never been to one). When I got there my niece refused to go! She kept yelling “Chuck E. Cheese’s scare me, Momma! Chuck E. Cheese’s scare me!” In the end, being the birthday girl and all, we didn’t go. To this day I am disappointed by this fact, regret it immensely, and kind of hold it against my niece (I’m sure the other kids at the party do as well). I know parenting styles differ (and I don’t have any kids), but there’s no way I’d let any kid of mine pull this crap! I would have made her go to Chuck E. Cheese’s (and made her have fun) even if it meant making that birthday spanking more than symbolic!

Six or seven years on I am still holding this grudge (I forget how old my niece is now. I’m a bad uncle.), so I keep wondering, what is scary at a Chuck E. Cheese’s? You guys don’t have clowns do you? I could understand being scared of clowns! I don’t want anything to do with clowns!

Anyway, soon my niece will be turning 14 or 15 and I am thinking of insisting we finally go to Chuck E. Cheese’s. I don’t care if your restaurant still scares her. I figure if it does, and she refuses to finally make good on her fifth birthday invitations, I can insist we still go there for my 42nd birthday and she can stay at home! (The big baby!)

But before I suggest this I need to know: Do you have clowns?

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen