An Unanswered Letter to Andrew Shirvell

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 29, 2010

Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell
525 W. Ottawa
P.O. Box 30217
Lansing, MI 48909

Dear Andrew Shirvell,

I commend you for your recent denunciation of the radical “gay” agenda, but I have to point out that you’re coming off a bit batshit crazy. If you’re going to go after viciously militant homosexual activists you should really look into hiring a publicist. I’m totally for “free speech,” which is why, on behalf of straight people everywhere, I am asking you to dial it back. You’re making us look bad. Maybe use a few less swastikas to get your message across? It’s just a suggestion.

I assume that Chris Armstrong’s stance on gender neutral housing is what’s got you up in arms. I want to point out the illogic in this argument. It was gender mandated housing rules that forced me to live with another male in my college years instead of a woman. Nothing happened, thank God, but this forced proximity to an attractive male…well, let’s just say I could just feel myself turning gay. It was nearly a forgone conclusion! A little Depeche Mode and one beer too many and I shudder at what could have happened.

What I think you should do is try to mandate that true housing be defined as one man and one woman. This women living with women and males living with males has to stop! As long as people have access to the genitalia of another person of the same sex the straight lifestyle will be under constant attack!

Anxiously awaiting your reply.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. if you can’t cyber-bully a man like Chris Armstrong who can you cyber-bully?