An Unanswered Letter to Rachael Ray

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

June 6, 2008

Rachael Ray
132 E. 43rd St.
PO Box 543
New York, NY 10017

Dear Rachael Ray,

A friend of mine would kill for an autographed photograph of you, and since his birthday is coming up I figured I’d try to get him one! Could you please please send one to the above address made out to “Marty”? I don’t need anyone killed, but I figure he can owe me one. Ha ha! Of course, if you have any suggestions, that could work as well.

Do you think someone like Julia Child could get a show on TV in today’s world? She makes Margaret Thatcher (on a cold day) look downright appealing. Seems to me only attractive chefs get shows these days (at least when it comes to women. I can’t speak about the men, since that’s not my inclination). I mean Nigella Lawson is totally milffy, Giada De Laurentiis isn’t half bad, and you need only look in the mirror! Are there any ugly women chefs on TV?

When you were a kid and your mother read you “Little Red Riding Hood,” and it got to the part in the story where Little Red Riding hood says, “And such big teeth you have!” were you ever confused and think the story was about you?

That friend of mine, the one I want the photo for, affectionately calls you “Jabberjaw,” since you have such a big smile. Jabberjaw is a cartoon shark (as if you didn’t know!). I think he’s being downright silly though, since this would mean you had an extra row of teeth. You don’t do you?

Anyway, Marty’s will be 38 on Sept. 9. This should give you enough time to send the photo (a card would be too much!).

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen