An Unanswered Letter to H.J. Heinz Co.

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

September 13, 2010

H.J. Heinz Co.
1991. P.O. Box 57
Pittsburg, PA, 15230-0057

Dear H.J. Heinz Co.

You should look into putting a few marketing dollars toward dethroning “Brooks Old Original Rich & Tangy Catsup!” as the title holder of the “World’s Largest Catsup Bottle.” I’m told that it’s 170 feet tall, but I figure for not much money you could make one that is even bigger!

You’ll probably want to make yours at least 200 feet tall, to completely dominate the title, or you will risk setting off the arms race of catusp bottles. If you made one that was only 171 feet tall I cm sure the good people Collinsville, Illinois would just go add a couple feet to theirs. This would go back and forth until someone built something that was unstable and just fell over. No one wants that!

I think this is a great idea, but then I admit I am not in marketing. I’m just a catsup fan.

Sincerely,

Christopher L. Jorgensen