An Unanswered Letter to Ringling Bros.

Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010

May 1, 2008

Ringling Bros.
Customer Relations
8607 Westwood Center Drive
Vienna, VA 22182

Dear Ringling Brothers,

I am interested in becoming a clown. Even my best friends consider me to be a jackass, I don’t mind makeup that much, and I do like some kids, so I think it might be a good fit.

My girlfriend insists some men compensate for a lack of equipment (if you know what I mean) by driving large cars like a Ford Mustang or a GM Hummer. I tried to reassure her this is why I drive a 2000 Dodge Neon, but this just scared her.

Anyway, this leaves me with three questions: 1, how many clowns can fit in a 2000 Dodge Neon? 2, what is the average size of a clown’s unit? 3, Do I have to send you any kind of picture to prove I can fit in a clown car?

I am just wondering if I should reconsider my career choices.

Thanks,

Christopher L. Jorgensen

p.s. If you’re interested I can send along a picture of my “resume” (if you know what I mean).